Create Warm Memories with Holiday Traditions

I remember just a handful of the Christmas presents I received as a child: My first Barbie doll with her skinny black sequined gown. My soft, pink Pat-a-Burp doll. The microscope I got in second grade.

But I have many, many memories of our holiday traditions. The lovely aromas of holiday ethnic food. Riding the South Shore train into Chicago to visit the "real" Santa. Using a paintbrush to decorate sugar cookies with colored frosting. Setting up our manger scene.

Traditions add so much joy to the holidays. Traditions give a child a sense of belonging and identity. They strengthen bonds across generations and live long in memory.

A family rich in traditions has a powerful antidote to commercialism. The more focused you are on pleasures that cost little or nothing, the more all the gifts tend to stay in their appropriate place.

Best of all, many traditions are perfectly suited to today's busy families. Here are a few favorites:

SIMPLE PLEASURES

Light candles at dinnertime. If December mornings are dark where you live, light candles at breakfast, too.

Take an evening stroll or car ride to look at Christmas lights.

Serve warm chocolate with candy canes for stirring.

THE JOY OF GIVING

Let your kids in on the excitement of finding and wrapping gifts for those they love. Compliment them for being big enough to keep the surprise a secret.

As a family, decide on a charity and make a donation. Our favorite is Heifer International (www.heifer.org).

Take a plate of cookies or other holiday treats to a homeless shelter or to a police or fire station.

GRATITUDE

Give family members strips of paper in holiday colors. Let everyone write or draw something they're thankful for on each strip. Link the strips into a chain and hang as a decoration.

Write thank-you cards to each other. Decide together when to open them.

CONNECTING GENERATIONS

Interview grandparents, aunts, and uncles about holiday traditions they remember from their childhood. Adopt any traditions that fit your family.

Ask relatives for holiday recipes that have been handed down in your family. Or, search the Internet for holiday recipes related to your ethnic origins.

NEW YEAR'S EVE

If your kids are little, it works fine to celebrate the new year at 9 PM instead of midnight!

Pull out photos and videos from the past year and share your memories.

Keep a box of inexpensive noisemakers and party hats that you can re-use each year. The kids will enjoy pulling out their old favorites.

NEW YEAR'S DAY

Decorate a box in which you'll put photos, ticket stubs and other souveniers of the coming year. Talk about your hopes and wishes.

Let each family member put New Year's resolutions into their own envelope. Author Mimi Doe ("Busy But Balanced") has a tradition of sealing the envelopes with wax -- a nice, magical touch.

By Norma Schmidt

The Rose

Lifestyle is style over amount. And style is an art - the art of living. You can't buy style with money. You can't buy good taste with money. You can only buy more with money. Lifestyle is culture - the appreciation of good music, dance, art, sculpture, literature, plays and the art of living well. It's a taste for the fine, the unique, the beautiful.

Lifestyle also means rewarding excellence wherever you find it by not taking the small things of life for granted. With Valentine's Day approaching I wanted to illustrate this with a personal anecdote:

Many years ago my lady friend and I were on a trip to Carmel, California for some shopping and exploring. On the way we stopped at a service station. As soon as we parked our car in front of the pumps, a young man, about eighteen or nineteen, came bouncing out to the car and with a big smile said, "Can I help you?"

"Yes," I answered. "A full tank of gas, please." I wasn't prepared for what followed. In this day and age of self-service and deteriorating customer treatment, this young man checked every tire, washed every window - even the sunroof - singing and whistling the whole time. We couldn't believe both the quality of service and his upbeat attitude about his work.

When he brought the bill I said to the young man, "Hey, you really have taken good care of us. I appreciate it."

He replied, "I really enjoy working. It's fun for me and I get to meet nice people like you."

This kid was really something!

I said, "We're on our way to Carmel and we want to get some milkshakes. Can you tell us where we can find the nearest Baskin-Robbins?"

"Baskin-Robbins is just a few blocks away," he said as he gave us exact directions. Then he added, "Don't park out front - park around to the side so your car won't get sideswiped."

What a kid!

As we got to the ice cream store we ordered milkshakes, except that instead of two, we ordered three. Then we drove back to the station. Our young friend dashed out to greet us. "Hey, I see you got your milkshakes."

"Yes, and this one is for you!"

His mouth fell open. "For me?"

"Sure. With all the fantastic service you gave us, I couldn't leave you out of the milkshake deal."

"Wow!" was his astonished reply.

As we drove off I could see him in my rear-view mirror just standing there, grinning from ear to ear.

Now, what did this little act of generosity cost me? Only about two dollars - you see, it's not the money, it's the style.

Well, I must have been feeling especially creative that day, so on our arrival in Carmel I drove directly to a flower shop. As we walked inside I said to the florist, "I need a long-stemmed rose for my lady to carry while we go shopping in Carmel."

The florist, a rather unromantic type, replied, "We sell them by the dozen."

"I don't need a dozen," I said, "just one."

"Well," he replied haughtily, "it will cost you two dollars."

"Wonderful," I exclaimed. "There's nothing worse than a cheap rose."

Selecting the rose with some deliberation, I handed it to my friend. She was so impressed! And the cost? Two dollars. Just two dollars. A bit later she looked up and said, "Jim, I must be the only woman in Carmel today carrying a rose." And I believe she probably was.

Can you imagine the opportunity to create magic with those around you, and all for the cost of a few dollars, some imagination and care.

Remember, it is not the amount that matters but the thought and care that often has the greatest impact upon those you love.


By Jim Rohn

Nine Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Head To The Office Party

One thing you can count on during the holiday season is the obligatory office party. No matter what the size of the organization, there is always an effort to bring coworkers together for one more moment of merriment. Some people look forward to the chance to mix and mingle outside the confines of business and others would rather give up the annual bonus than have to spend precious personal time with the gang from work.

No matter which side of the issue you fall on, there are certain rules of behavior to follow at the office party if you want to have an office to go to when the party is over. When the invitation arrives for the holiday happening, make sure that you know the answers to these key questions:

1. Do I have to go? Don't even consider NOT going unless you have a justifiable conflict. The office party is part of your job. Its purpose is to bring together coworkers and colleagues for a bit of camaraderie and some well-deserved recognition. If this is not your idea of a great time, then consider it work, put on your best attitude and go.

2. Do I need to know who will be there? Find out who else has been invited. If you assume that it is just your department or your work team, you may not be prepared to interact with everyone else. Any sort of mixing and mingling event requires advance preparation. Knowing who will be there and having an idea what to talk about is critical to a successful venture.

3. How long should I stay? Stay long enough to speak to everyone there - assuming there is not a cast of thousands. With a large crowd, interact with as many people as possible, especially the key people like your boss. You need to remain at the event for at least an hour or you will give the impression that your appearance was merely obligatory.

If you are having a good time check your watch. Leave before the party time has elapsed. If your invitation was from 5-7, don't stay one minute past 7 o'clock. You don't want to be thought of as part of the clean-up crew unless that is the next job you want to have.

4. What should I wear? Remember that this is the office party, and keep your guard up when deciding how to dress. If the event is immediately after work, your business attire is appropriate.

If the party is later in the evening or on the weekend your choices will vary depending on the type of event. If you aren't certain what to wear, check directly with your host or with coworkers whose taste and judgment you trust. Make sure that what you wear reflects well on you professionally. This is not the time to show up in your most revealing outfit.

5. Is my family invited? Not unless it says so on the invitation. Take your children only if the invitation reads "and family". Otherwise leave them at home with the babysitter. Unless your spouse is mentioned or the envelope is addressed to you "and guest" you and only you should show up.

6. What will I talk about? It's not what you have to say; it's about what other people have to say. The trick is allowing other people to talk. If you plan ahead with some good open-ended questions, you won't have any trouble with conversations. The best conversation starter begins with "tell me about..." You can then continue with "That's interesting. Tell me more."

7. How much should I eat and drink? Whether the event is a reception with light hors d'oeuvres or a full buffet, keep moderation in mind. You are not there for the food. You are there for the fellowship so resist the urge to fill your plate to overflowing. The person who goes through the line first and takes all the food will not be remembered fondly or invited back.

Drink in moderation. Alcohol and business rarely mix well so limit how much you consume. This is an opportunity to build business relationships and to promote yourself. You will want to keep your wits about you because your after-hours conduct will have a direct bearing on your business future.

8. Should I take a gift? Unless you are asked to bring something to exchange with your coworkers, the only appropriate gift is one for your host. While flowers and wine are popular items, approach both with caution. Take wine or liquor only if you are certain that your host drinks alcoholic beverages. If wine is being served with a meal, ask ahead of time what kind of wine would be appropriate. Otherwise make it clear that you expect your host to save the wine for a later occasion.

With flowers, take cut flowers already arranged in a vase that does not have to be returned. The host should not have to scurry about to locate a vase and arrange flowers while there are guests to be entertained. Gift baskets with jams, jellies, or gourmet food items that can be stored and served later are the best choices.

9. Is it all right to dance on the table with a lampshade on my head? Not at the office party, no matter how well it fits or what a great little dancer you are. Enjoy yourself, but keep in mind that it is still about business and make sure that you don't have TOO much fun.

The holiday party is not the time to let down your hair or throw caution to the wind. What you say and do on Saturday night will live on for a long time in the minds of your associates. If your behavior is inappropriate, your career may be shorter than everyone else's memory. If you conduct yourself with charm and savvy, your rise up the ladder of success could pick up speed.

By Lydia Ramsey

Greeting Card Tango: How To Impress, Not Stress, During The Holidays

When it comes to holiday greeting cards, to send or not to send is often the question. Once you have decided in the affirmative, you then have to determine who to include on your list, what kind of card to choose and how to address the envelope.

There are lots of reasons for sending those holiday cards. You might want to enhance your current business relationships, attract new customers, remind old clients that you exist or show appreciation to those who have faithfully supported you during the year. What is obviously a well-meaning gesture can actually offend the people you want to impress when it is not done properly.

The first place to start is with a good quality card to show that you value your clients and colleagues. Skimping on your selection can be interpreted in a number of ways. Your recipients might take it as a sign that business has not been good or that they aren't worth a little extra investment on your part.

Make sure your list is up-to-date with correct names and current addresses. If you do this on a regular basis, it does not become a dreaded holiday chore. As you gain new clients and contacts throughout the year, take a few minutes to add them to your database and mark them for your greeting card group. This way you won't overlook anyone or embarrass yourself by sending the card to the old address.

Sign each card personally. Even if you have preprinted information on the card such as your name - which is an impressive detail - you need to add your handwritten signature. The most elegant cards should still have your personal signature and a short handwritten message or greeting. Sound like a lot of trouble? If the business or the relationship is worth it, so is the extra effort. This is your chance to connect on a personal level with your clients and colleagues.

Take the time to handwrite the address as well. If you are ready to throw up your hands at this point and forget the whole project, then have someone else address the envelopes for you. Whatever you do, don't use computer-generated labels. They are impersonal and make your holiday wishes look like a mass mailing. You may save time and even money, but lose a client or a business associate in the process.

You may mail your greeting to the home if you know the business person socially. Be sure to include the spouse's name in this instance. The card is not sent to both husband and wife at the business address unless they both work there.

Whether you are addressing the envelope to an individual or a couple, titles should always be used. It's "Mr. John Doe," not "John Doe," or "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, rather that "John and Mary Doe."

Be sensitive to the religious and cultural traditions of the people to whom you are sending your cards. Find out whether they observe Christmas, Hanukah or Kwanzaa and make sure your message is appropriate for each individual. If you decide to go with one card and a single message for all, choose a generic one that will not offend. "Season's Greetings" and "Happy Holidays" are both safe bets.

Mail your greetings in time to arrive for the designated holiday. If you find yourself addressing the envelopes on Super Bowl Sunday, keep the cards until next year and send out a high-quality note thanking people for their business during the previous year instead. The best way to avoid the last minute greeting rush is to have all your envelopes addressed before Thanksgiving. Then during December you can leisurely write a short message - one or two lines are all that is necessary on each card, sign your name and have them in the mail with a minimum of hassle.

You now have all the time in the world for the shopping, baking, decorating and celebrating that accompany the holiday season.

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Additional Tips for Addressing Envelopes

If you are about to address your holiday greeting cards or the invitations to the company party and you are confused about the correct way to do it, you are not alone. There are situations that we have not had to consider before. There are more women with professional titles, increased numbers of women who retain their maiden name after marriage, and couples choosing alternative living arrangements. The simple act of addressing an envelope has become quite complicated. Here are a few tips to cover the majority of those demanding dilemmas.

Always write titles on the envelope. The card or invitation goes to "Mr. John Smith," not "John Smith." It is addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith," instead of "John and Mary Smith."

When you address a couple, use titles, rather than professional initials. It's "Dr. and Mrs. John Smith," not "John Smith, M.D. and Mrs. Smith."

If both the husband and the wife are doctors, you write, "The Doctors Smith." However, if they use different last names, you address the envelope to "Dr. John Smith and Dr. Mary Brown." The husband's name is placed first.

If the wife is a doctor and the husband is not, you send your invitation to "Mr. John Smith and Dr. Mary Smith."

Try to get it all on one line. When the husband has an unusually long name, the wife's title and name are indented and written on the second line:

The Honorable Jonathon Richardson Staniskowsky and Mrs. Staniskowsky

When a couple is not married and share a mutual address, their names are written on separate lines alphabetically and not connected by the word "and."

Ms. Mary Brown


Mr. John Smith

When the woman outranks her husband, her name is written first. It's "Major Mary Smith and Lieutenant John Smith."

Note: The man's name is always written first unless the wife outranks him or if the couple is unmarried and her last name precedes his alphabetically. So much for "Ladies first."

By Lydia Ramsey

The Origins Of Mothers Day

Today Mother's Day or Mothering Sunday is celebrated all over the world. For florists and card shops the event is one of the highlights of the year, but the roots of Mother's Day are not commercial.

Motherhood has been celebrated since ancient times. The ancient Greeks paid homage to Rhea, the Mother of Gods; and there are records of the ancient Romans worshiping a mother Goddess known as Cybele as early as 260 BC. Festivals took place in the spring which was the most fertile time of the year.

The more modern way of honouring mothers began in England in the 1600s where Mothering Sunday was observed on the fourth Sunday of Lent. This day is also known as 'Refreshment Sunday', the only day when you are allowed to eat or do whatever you have given up for Lent. Not surprisingly, families came together and took the opportunity to party with a big meal at which mother was treated as the guest of honour. Traditionally, mothers were given posies of flowers and a cake.

The term 'Mothering Sunday' is now falling into disuse and has mostly been replaced by 'Mother's Day', which is used the world over.

In the USA there were several attempts to introduce a Mother's Day as a way to celebrate peace and heal the scars of war. Julia Ward, who wrote the words to the Battle Hymn of the Republic, suggested the idea in 1872. But the idea didn't really take off until Anna Jarvis campaigned for the establishment of a Mother's Day to commemorate her own mother who died in 1905. Ward's mother herself had tried to establish a similar holiday, Mother's Friendship Day, to heal the pain of the Civil War.

The first Mother's Day in the USA was held in 1907 when Julia Ward held a ceremony to honour her mother. She then successfully campaigned for a formal holiday to honour mothers and by 1911 most states had taken up the idea. This was followed in 1914 by a declaration by President Woodrow Wilson that Mother's Day should be celebrated as a national holiday on the second Sunday in May. The idea quickly spread to Canada and Mexico and many more countries throughout the world.

The commercialisation of Mother's Day quickly followed, much to the disgust of Anna Jarvis who was arrested in 1923 at a Mother's Day festival for trying to stop women selling flowers. Jarvis said "I wanted it to be a day of sentiment not profit".

By Anna Jarvis

Ten Ways To Make The Holidays Easier Next Year

What does your holiday season usually look like -- a lot of rushing around at the last minute? The holidays really don't have to require so much effort -- if you plan ahead and spread the work out throughout the year. Here are ten tips for making your next holiday season a snap:

PACK YOUR DECORATIONS THE RIGHT WAY

I know you will be in a rush to get the house back in order after the holidays are over -- but don't just throw everything in a box. Take time to wrap your lights so they won't get tangled, to pack fragile items carefully, and to store like items together (ornaments, snowmen, candles, whatever). And be sure to label all of your boxes!

UPDATE YOUR HOLIDAY ADDRESS LIST

If you have access to a computer, make it a priority to computerize your address list -- preferably in a program which will allow you to print labels. Whether you keep your list on the computer or by hand, double check your addresses against the envelopes from the cards you received this year. If you see any mistakes or people you forgot, add them in while it's still fresh in your mind.

TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR HOUSE DECORATED

Do you have a hard time remembering how you had everything laid out from year to year? Or did you do a particularly spectacular job of decorating this year and want to replicate it again in the future? Take a photo and stash it away with your decorations -- you'll have a built-in reference the next time you set up for the holidays.

KEEP TRACK OF ANY RECIPES YOU ESPECIALLY ENJOYED

If you just adored Aunt Martha's cranberry cobbler or your next door neighbor's cheese ball -- ask for the recipe. You can keep a special notebook of holiday recipes that you would like to make again year after year. This will save you a lot of time searching through cookbooks saying, "Now where was that recipe?" You can store your holiday notebook with your other recipes (if you might want to use it at other times during the year) or in with your decorations.

KEEP A LIST OF GIFT IDEAS

During the holiday season, people pay close attention when loved ones mention an item they might like to have. But we seem to turn our radar off after that point. Keep a wish list of gifts you may give this year -- but don't throw it out after the holidays are over. Cross off any items you know were already given, and continue to add to your list throughout the year. When Christmas comes around next year, you don't have to wonder what gifts you should buy.

START A CHRISTMAS CLUB ACCOUNT

There is nothing uglier than coming up on the holidays knowing that you are going to go into serious debt. We can certainly debate the merit of spending huge amounts of money on gifts -- but the easiest way to deal with holiday bills is to plan ahead. Banks used to (and still may) offer "Christmas Clubs" -- savings accounts that you add to throughout the year and can't touch until December. If your bank doesn't have such a creature, set up a separate account that you treat as a Christmas club. Put aside a small amount each month, and swear not to spend it on anything except the holidays. Then promise yourself that you won't spend any more than you have in your account.

STOCK UP AT AFTER-CHRISTMAS SALES

Some things -- like greeting cards and wrapping paper -- can only be purchased during the holiday season. But if you buy them right at the start of the holidays, you will end up paying an arm and a leg. I always head out to the day after Christmas sales to stock up on wrappings, lights, cards, and other goodies -- all at least half off. I can even find potential gifts for the next year at huge savings. Then I store all of my bargains away with my decorations, ready for action next holiday season.

SHOP FOR GIFTS THROUGHOUT THE YEAR

Armed with your gift list and Christmas club account, you are in an excellent position to take advantage of sales and specials throughout the year. Keep an eye open for items that you think would make good holiday gifts -- and pick them up while the price is reduced. Then designate a spot in a closet or cabinet as your gift center -- a place to stash your goodies until next year.

SET UP A GIFT WRAPPING STATION

Of course, another great way to cut down on holiday chores is to do your wrapping ahead of time. Since you are buying gifts throughout the year, consider setting up a wrapping station along with your gift center. Then, when you bring home a present, you can wrap it and tag it right then, instead of waiting until the last minute. And this will also keep prying eyes from sneaking a peak at their gifts!

MAKE A LIST OF THINGS THAT WORKED AND DIDN'T WORK

It always happens during the holidays -- some things go smoothly and others do not. Maybe you tried to have a huge family buffet and all of the food got cold before everyone could eat it. Or you thought fresh greenery would be nice -- but all the needles fell off a week after you set out the garlands. On the other hand, you may have found a great pattern for a gingerbread house, or discovered a fabulous community event that you would like to attend again next year. Make a note of these pluses and minuses and stash your list with your decorations. Then review your list next year and plan your holiday accordingly.

By Ramona Creel

The History And Origin Of Valentines Day

The oldest Valentine card still in existence was sent in 1415 by Charles Duke of Orleans, at the time a prisoner in the Tower of London, to his wife. The Duke's Valentine's card is now preserved and displayed in the British Museum.

However, the origins of Valentine's Day lie in ancient Rome. Over the years the ever expanding Roman empire became more difficult to police and there was an increasing shortage of soldiers. Believing that married men were too attached to their families and unlikely to sign up for active service, Emperor Claudius II banned marriage, thinking this would increase the number of quality recruits.

The story goes that a Christian priest by the name of Valentine, seeing the unhappiness and trauma that resulted, secretly married couples in defiance of the new law.

It wasn't long before Emperor Claudius found out about Valentine's actions and the priest was imprisoned and eventually executed on February 14, 270.

Whilst in prison, Valentine was befriended by his jailer, a character called Asterius. Asterius had a blind daughter and the jailer asked Valentine to cure her, which he supposedly did. Shortly before his execution, Valentine asked for writing implements and signed a farewell message to the jailer's daughter "From your Valentine", a phrase that has lived on, much to the delight of modern day florists, rose growers and card companies!

By Tony Luck

St Valentines Day, Festival of the Matchmakers

There are as many as eight possible Valentines Day origins and the three most likely contenders were all early church martyrs.

However, before the Christian Saints, the day started as a festival to honour Juno, Queen of the Roman deities. Juno was sister and consort of Jupiter, mother of Mars, and one of the most important of the Roman pantheon. She had many duties, each with an associated title, as a protector of the Roman people she was Juno Regina, advisor to those about to marry as Juno Moneta and as goddess of Roman women and childbirth, Juno Lucina. From her title "Juno Moneta" we get the word "money" because the Roman mint was built close to one of her temples. For most Romans she was a protector of women as the goddess of marriage, fertility and all aspects of pregnancy and childbirth

Her day was 14 February and the following day was the Feast of Lupercalia.

Lupercalia began at the Ides of February. Members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.

Young men then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips to encourage fertility in the coming year.

Lupercalia was also celebrated as a young lovers' festival with a novel matchmaking game. On the eve of the festival of Lupercalia the names of the eligible daughters of Rome were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl's name from the jar and the two would then be partners for the duration of the festival.

In 496 CE, Pope Gelasius changed the date of the Lupercalia festival to Saint Valentine's Day, February 14. Associating the matchmaking feast with the martyrdom of Valentine was convenient because the days were almost identical.

So traditionally, mid-February was a Roman time to meet and court prospective mates. More than fifteen hundred years later we continue the tradition

In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their Valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling, that you are ready to fall a victim to romantic love. Is your heart on your sleeve ?

By Susanna Duffy

12 Things That Make Life Worthwhile!

Happy New Year! Around the world, this is a time of renewal, celebration of new opportunities, and great optimism. Please accept our best wishes for a year of peace, joy, and success.

And, note that any time of year is a great time to re-commit to the things that are most important. Our highest values and our dearest aspirations need constant attention, constant renewal, and constant reinforcement. Life has a way of distracting us. We get busy, and we forget who we are and what we truly want for ourselves and our loved ones.

In the spirit of friendly reminder, here are "12 Things That Make Life Worthwhile".

1. Take time to dream - it hitches your soul to the stars.

2. Take time to work - it is the price of success.

3. Take time to think - it is the source of power.

4. Take time to play - it is the secret of youth.

5. Take time to read - it is the foundation of knowledge.

6. Take time to worship - it is the highway of reverence and washes the dust of earth from our eyes.

7. Take time for friends - they are the source of happiness.

8. Take time to love - it is the source of joy.

9. Take time to laugh - it helps with life's loads.

10. Take time for beauty - it is everywhere to be enjoyed.

11. Take time for health - it is the true treasure of life.

12. Take time to plan - it is the secret to getting the things you desire.

Once again, Happy New Year!

by Philip E. Humbert

Saint Nick to Santa, the MOST extreme makeover?

It's the holiday season, and the first thing that comes to so many minds is presents, and who better to deliver these presents than Jolly Saint Nick himself. Chris Cringle, Saint Nicholas, Santa Claus, etc. etc. But who is this roly poly elf that sneaks around the living room each year? Where did he come from? And -watch out kids- is he real!? In this article you'll see how Santa went from thin and worshiped to pudgy and present-giving.

The first Europeans brought with them to the new World Saint Nicholas, and Columbus even named a Haitian port for the saint in 1492. Even the city now known as Jacksonville, Florida, was once known as Saint Nicholas Ferry. However, during the sixteenth century, there was a protestant reformation which took a low liking to saints. Although everyone tried to get rid of Saint Nick-related activity and custom, only the English traditions of Christmas were permanently altered. Since so many common people still liked Saint Nick, 'he' continued to place nuts, apples and sweets in any shoes left on the hearth, windowsill, or beside a bed.

The colonists coming to America in the 1500's were mainly Puritans, and Protestant reformers who didn't bring Saint Nicholas with them. And although many think that the Dutch brought Saint Nicholas to New Amsterdam, scholors have little evidence of this. Germans in present-day Pennsylvania, however, held the feast of Saint Nicholas and several accounts tell that Saint Nick Himself visited the feast.

In 1773, another Saint Nick-based occurance happened with the forming of the Sons of Saint Nicholas by the patriots. This, however was not to honor the bishop, but to blow a raspberry to the English St. George society. After the American Revolution, New Yorkers thought about their proud Dutch roots. John Pintard promoted St. Nicholas as the patron saint of Society and City. St. Nicholas as mentioned in "The knickerbocker's History of New York" was an elfin Dutch burgher with a pipe. These imaginative thoughts are the source of many New Amsterdam St. Nick legends, such as that the first Ductch emigrant ship had St. Nick as a figurehead, that St. Nicholas day was observed in the colony, that the first church was dedicated to him, and that St. Nick comes down chimneys with heaping sacks of presents.

The NY historical society held its first St. Nick Anniversary dinner in 1810, on December 6. John Pintard commissioned Alexander Anderson to create an American image of St. Nick for the occasion. St. Nick was depicted as a gift-giver, with treats stuffed into stockings hanging at the fireplace. An accompanying poem read "Saint Nicholas, my dear good friend! To serve you ever was my end, If you will, now, me something give, I'll serve you ever while I live." The elfin idea of Santa got a boost in 1823 when a poem was written: "A visit from Saint Nicholas". Later to be known as "The night before Christmas."

"He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.


His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;


The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf. . . ."

There are arguments between the writer being Clement Clark Moore, and Henry Livingston, who wrote humerous verse for children. Many artists continued the progression to Sancte Claus, or Santa Claus, which was very much unlike the Bishop Nicholas. A series of drawings in 'Harper's Weekly', by Thomas Nast, based on descriptions of Washington Irving's work, further showed Santa with his furry garb and bag of toys. It was, however, Haddon Sundblom who solidified the Santa Image with thirty-five years of Coca-Cola commercials featuring Santa as the Rotund, Red-suited, Full-bellied, white-haired fellow we know today. Santa has become so familiar that he has spread around the world and could possibly threaten Europe's Saint Nicholas, who is still a Christian Bishop and Saint.

50 Ways to Acknowledge Your Employees Before and After Labor Day

For most people, Labor Day symbolizes the end of summer, back to school, and another long weekend. Deep down however, when we stop for a moment and reflect as we often do on bank holidays, we all know that Labor Day is, in reality, meant to signify a time to recognize the achievement, struggle and determination of the working man and woman.

Here are 50 ways to acknowledge your employees in honor of Labor Day. See how many you are doing already, and which ones you could start doing better:


1. Ask them about themselves
2. Find ways to stay in an affirmative frame of mind, by saying yes as often as possible
3. If an employee makes a mistake, keep your emotions in check and mentor them to the make the right decision the next time
4. Be honest, ethical and forthright at all times. Stop yourself from stretching the truth about any issue that may arise
5. Listen to their needs and wants
6. Let them help you with your marketing plan
7. Listen to their stories about their families
8. Inquire if something is wrong if you feel an employee is acting different than usual
9. Remember the names of those employees in other departments you don't know
10. Find out the birthdays of your employees and remember to send each one a card when that day comes around
11. Present several options when they seek your advice, but also allow them to come up with their own solutions
12. Surprise them with an impromptu incentive, reward or thank you just for doing their job in the unique way that they do it
13. Stay with them a few moments after you've resolved an issue, just to make sure there aren't any lingering questions they were hesitant to ask
14. Have lunch brought in
15. Let them take the reins on a customer issue, giving them the empowerment they deserve
16. Stop by their work area just to say Hi
17. Let them vent
18. Discuss their higher aspirations
19. Let down your guard
20. Come out from behind your desk when they come to see you
21. Tell them they're doing a great job (you can't do this too often)
22. Learn something from them
23. Don't think with your mouth open
24. Make yourself accessible, answer your phone and return your emails
25. If you make a mistake, say you're sorry
26. Keep your promises
27. When you talk to them look in their eyes
28. Pass out their pay stubs and checks, and as you give it to them, thank them for the work they do
29. Acknowledge an everyday task they do, and tell them specifically how well they do it
30. Give them your undivided attention.
31. Ask for their opinion.
32. Encourage their creativity when faced with a challenge
33. Find out what they're best at, and help them become masterful at it
34. Be genuinely glad to see them
35. Bend
36. Allow them to find their own way, but give help when requested
37. Give them immediate feedback.
38. Include them in conversations with your peers, don't make them feel left out
39. Respect them.
40. Be patient when they're having a bad day
41. Send them to a meeting in your place, with their permission
42. Believe what they say
43. Laugh at their jokes
44. Encourage them to think outside the box
45. Let them look at the big picture with you
46. Share company goals with them, even if you think they won't understand it all
47. Encourage all types of feedback
48. Make sure your voicemail message is as friendly as possible
49. Introduce them to your boss's boss
50. Tell them if they ever have a question or concern they can call you at home, and give them your number

By Andy O'Bryan

Happy Holidays? It's Up To You

The Holiday Season. Does time seem to compress, or is it just me? There's so much going on -- the end of autumn, the beginning of winter, and all the holidays that follow. As a child it was an exciting time of year. As an adult, it seems filled with more shopping, baking, parties, and other events than I can squeeze into the available time.

In Aikido, the martial art that I practice and teach, we have something called "randori," an exercise in which the student stands alone on the practice mat and as many as five opponents attack simultaneously. Sometimes the holidays feel like this -- which task, event, or relationship do I take on first?

The first secret of randori is to handle one attack at a time. I can't let myself become overwhelmed by the enormity of what's out there. I must stay fully present with what's right in front of me. It's hard to do, but it saves time, energy, and wear and tear!

Secret #2 is to engage the attack. Though it sounds counterintuitive, welcoming the attack puts me in charge of it. I decide what I want to handle first and move toward it.

Planning a family dinner, finding places to stay for the relatives, shopping for holiday gifts, getting the budget report done on time, AND hiring a new administrative assistant -- each task by itself might be doable, even enjoyable, but taken together they seem overwhelming. How to stay balanced and effective?

In the midst of life's multiple, simultaneous events: Know that each can be an attack or a gift -- it's up to you. Engage one task at a time. Every time you experience the pressure of "How can I possibly do it all?" -- stop and BE where you are, and give your relaxed presence to the task at hand.

Gradually you'll feel in charge of the only things you can be in charge of -- yourself and the present moment.

Happy Holidays!

By Judy Ringer

The Only New Year's Resolution You Need

I am going to make a bold statement. I think I have the only New Year's Resolution you need. You have got to be kidding, right??!!! You don't know me, Kimberly. You don't know that I need to lose 20lbs., exercise, be a better mother, be a better worker, a better wife, etc. How in the world can you boil it down to one New Year's Resolution?

We can find our one New Year's Resolution in the Bible. Listen to this verse,

"Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

1 Corinthians 10:31. What do you think? Can we sum up all the many roles in our lives and state without reservation that we are doing them to the glory of God? I have to admit I do not do everything to the glory of God, but that certainly is a goal to try and attain. When you look at your New Year's Resolutions how do they look differently in light of this verse? Do I eat to the glory of God? Do I parent my children to point them to God and reflect his glory? Do my co-workers know there is something different about me, because I reflect God's glory?

One thing I have learned recently is to have an eternal perspective. When we think about eternity, sometimes the big things we have been so stressed over no longer seem so major. Will it matter in eternity whether my house was spotless and my bed was made every day? Sounds kind of trivial, doesn't it? What will matter is if my children spend eternity with me in heaven. What will also matter is if I'm showing them how to worship God in everything they do. When you start to get frazzled and anxious ask yourself, "Will this matter in eternity?" I don't mean to say we don't do a good job at work and home, but we need to keep an eternal perspective.

My challenge for you and for me this year is to "do all to the glory of God." Can you imagine how our homes and workplaces would be radically changed if we truly lived to glorify God? I certainly think they would be more peaceful. I don't know if you agree with my "only" New Year's Resolution, but I pray God will be glorified through you this year.

By Kimberly Chastain

9 Fantastic Formulas for a Stress Free Holiday!

The holidays are officially here. And so the season for giving begins. Warm loving intentions, thoughtful giving and stocking stuffing take over.

It's a wonderful time of year, but with all the activities, excitement and family obligations taking place at the same time, it's easy to feel overwhelmed, stressed and even a tad bit gloomy. Here are 9 simple steps to relax, let go and really enjoy a truly happy holiday!

1. Reflect on what an inspiration you are to others. The time you spend, the love you give and the enthusiasm with which you do it all with is what matters most to people close to you. The beautifully wrapped presents and bows are far less important than your loving friendship. You are appreciated and cherished in the lives of so many people. Love yourself with the same appreciation.

2. Be honest with yourself and don't stuff your feelings. As you start to feel range of emotions this holiday? whether it is joy or fear? frustration or liberation?Don't push them away like last season's Prada bag. Give them a special place. It will be far easier to enjoy the holiday if you are honest with yourself and experience all the good, bad and normal parts of life. Be as accepting and generous with yourself as you are with the people in your life you care about the most.

3. Show empathy and compassion. Our internal perception is reality. Whenever you show kind hearted compassion, you'll get it back in return.

4. Be grateful for all the wonderful differences, preferences and opinions that you will encounter this holiday. Try to view life from a different perspective. Talk about differences that may come up in a loving way and make a special effort to sit on the same side of the table (literally and figuratively). See if you can find it in your heart to love and appreciate Uncle Joe's crazy quirk that normally sends you through the roof. The joy and peacefulness of understanding another's perspective while still honoring your own is a feeling to be savored!

5. Get plenty of sleep and squeeze in a few extra minutes to rest and relax. Sleep may seem like an indulgence this time of year, but it is absolutely essential to good health and a positive holiday outlook. Rest, slow-down and catch plenty of zzz's. Be decadent and treat yourself to 3 -5 minutes a day without any books, junk mail or return calls. Take time to breathe, relax, reflect and introspect. If you're feeling really sassy lie on your back and spread out in the middle of the living floor. Is 3 minutes of your day just for one month too much to ask?

6. Try letting go and see what marvels happen! Let go of one small thing that's really been getting to you. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? Just for kicks, reflect back on a particularly stressful holiday situation last year. How bad was it really? Did worry consume you for nothing? I'm guessing that the turnout wasn't as bad as all the images swimming in your head. And, there may have even been a hidden blessing after all. In the scheme of things, our daily worries are trivial. Try to let them go? and go with the flow!

7. Find opportunities throughout the day to bond and make a human connection. Make a conscious and loving effort to be attentive and live in the present moment. A sure fire quick way to work yourself up is to let your mind run a million miles an hour of things you could, should or would be doing. These random relentless thoughts will just make you anxious and nervous. Take the time to look into peoples' eyes; listen carefully to what they have to say and pass them a compliment about something you know is important to them. That goes for strangers too! You will enjoy your time together that much more? and so will they.

8. Change up the scenery. Rather than going through your same daily routine, shake it up a bit! Close your eyes at night before you drift off and sleepily anticipate a self indulgent wild and crazy day. Roll out of bed on the opposite side. Light a scented candle in the bathroom and watch the flame flicker in the morning light. Crank up your favorite piece of inspiring music before you do anything else in the morning. Walk backward through the house. Try tea instead of coffee. Call an old friend you haven't talked to in ages. Talk to strangers! Take the scenic route home. Wave to the stressed out folks who cut you off on the freeway. What else can you think of that could change up your scenery and shake some smiles out of you?

9. Treat yourself as you would treat others. Write yourself a love note. Buy yourself fresh stems of flowers. Soak your feet. Valet park the car. Have your groceries delivered. Send your undies to the cleaners. Snuggle with a blankie. Take a long walk. Sleep in. Watch the sunset. Sing yourself a love song. Do all the things for yourself you wish others would do for you!

Enjoy the most fabulous holiday season of all times!


Julie Hunt

Are You Going To Survive The Holidays?

Admit it! You promised this year was not going to be like the last few...and here you are, it is December and guess what? You did it again! The TO DO list is growing by the day right along side the gift list. If the holidays are stressful and you start to wish they didn't come each year then you are doing something wrong and you need to regroup. Not to worry...we are here to help!

1. If you don't have a TO DO list and are just swirling around, STOP...and make a list. 2. Categorize your list...you know...organize it by types of tasks. 3. If at this point you are already overwhelmed, do not proceed to step 4. Call ON THE GO 4 U (or a local concierge in your area) right now. 4. Assign time limits to the tasks. Similar tasks (that's why we categorized) can probably be knocked off at one time. 5. Make a schedule. You know your daily routines. Now add the TO DO list tasks to the routine. 6. If at this point you see no way to schedule another thing in your day: a) refer to our November article "Don't be a Statistic", b) Call ON THE GO 4 U (or a local concierge in your area) right now and c) do not proceed to Step 7 because help is on the way. 7. OK, now you have the list and the schedule. Stick to it! The easiest way for things to fall apart is for you to get sidetracked.

Things for your TO DO list that you may have forgotten:

Holiday Cards

Stamps (purchase now if you want themed ones)

All mailing should be done no later than Dec 18 to avoid the rush and additional shipping costs.

Holiday Open House or Party. Consider having an after the holidays party...people need a break and some fun in Jan/Feb.

Invitations should be sent 3 weeks in advance...which means you should have done it by now!

Office/School Gifts

Wrapping Supplies (Paper, Ribbon, Tape, Labels)

Decorations



Decorating Timesavers for the Holidays Contributions by Chef Stacey of Season the Day, LLC

Decorate only the common areas that will be frequented by friends and family.

We shouldn't have to say this, but here goes. If the Christmas tree is against a wall, do not decorate the part that is not seen by visitors.

Add a holiday bow to a plain evergreen wreath. You can get very nice pre-made bows at any store that sells holiday decorations. Place it on front door and put poinsettias in the foyer.

Add holiday trim to everyday decorations that are already in place.

For an elegant but easy-to-do centerpiece, fill a crystal/glass bowl with water, add fresh cranberries, holly and floating candles.

Stage holiday scented candles throughout the house. They will make the house warm and cozy.

For outside decorations, take plain white lights and extend them around the railings. Buy a roll of festive ribbon and matching bows. Use the ribbon to secure the lights to the railing by wrapping it around. Attach the bows to the end of the railings.



Gifts under $20 Make Great Stocking Stuffers Sunglass Hut: Cleaner, cloth and screwdriver in a case. The cleaner matches the cloths! $9.99 The Body Shop: Dry Oil Mist in assorted scents (Mango is our favorite). $9.50 Stila: Convertible Lip Color $20 Brookstone: LED Multi-tool $20 and 4-in-1 tape measure $20 Illuminations: Jar candles $7-20 Pier 1 Imports: Great ornaments for under $20 Amazon.com: Free shipping on $25 so get a couple of your items there Fredflare.com: Earrings under $20 and great men's gifts too including desktop games The Rules for Gift Buying: It is the middle of the month and we are all on a serious countdown to the big day. If you are still out shopping, here are a few simple rules to avoid making a serious faux pas with your significant other.

For Her: 1. Do not buy her something practical unless she has specifically asked for it. However, if she did, make sure you know exactly what she wants. A blender is not a blender is not a blender. 2. Clothing: You can go sooo wrong with this. Be careful. Know her size and know her style. 3. Gift Certificates: While this is an easy fix to a big problem, it can scream I don't know what else to buy you. Do not buy a gift certificate to the mall or department store. Use the same philosophy with gift certificates as with gifts. Know the person's style. If she loves DIY, then try a gift certificate for lessons (pottery class, art lessons, even DIY home improvement if she is in to that). If she needs to relax and unwind, gift certificates to a spa are a great idea. Now, you have the gift certificate and you put a lot of thought into so don't blow it on the packaging. A plain white or store envelope is not the way to go. Package it with a product from the store (i.e. aromatherapy if doing the spa idea) or her favorite wine, chocolates, etc. 4. And here is the big one: Buy what she likes not what you like!

For Him: 1. Practical works for men but only if it is something he wants, not something you think he should have to do a chore on the "to do" list. 2. Clothing: Same rule applies for men as for women. Know his size and his style. Now some of you are reading this and saying but I don't like what he wears. This is not the time to reform him. If you don't like what he wears then don't buy him clothing for the holidays OR buy him a gift certificate for a personal shopper that he can use in any manner he wants. 3. Gift Certificates: For men, you need to be specific. Many women don't mind shopping but most men do. Gift certificates to internet vendors that he frequents are good. Mall gift certificates are not. And again, follow the simple rules for packaging the gift certificate. Don't use the plain white or store envelope. 4. And now the big one: Sports/Hobby equipment or Electronics. If you are going to buy your guy something to accentuate his hobbies or activities then make sure that is what it actually does. If he is a sports enthusiast then he most likely has brands or styles of equipment that he prefers. Talk to his sports buddies or check out sports experts online before buying him something he doesn't want or need. Use the same philosophy when buying electronics. Research what is best for his needs and buy the best you can afford in your price range. If you know he wants a specific product and it is out of your budget, do not buy second best. Choose another idea.

For the one who has it all: The BusyB Herself will tell you that you have to work pretty hard to find her someone who truly has it all and for whom she can't find a creative gift. However, if you have someone who does not need nor want, try something different. There are a multitude of charitable organizations out there who did want and need. Think about his/her passions. For example: if he/she is really into animals then make a donation to the local shelter on his/her behalf and then package it with the donation letter as well as something from the organization or a magazine/book on the subject.

Remember, put on the tunes, stay relaxed and enjoy what is supposed to be a joyous season, not a chore. Now that you have these holiday tips, we hope that your holiday is safe and sane.

By Indra A Books

Tis The Season For Love - and Stress!

The holidays are upon us and for many people this is the most stressful time of year. There is so much to do and not enough time to do it in, places to go, people to see, gifts to buy, food to prepare, and on and on and on. We may feel overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted, and angry, rather than joyful, loving and peaceful. Greeting cards proclaim wishes of peace, joy, happiness, and love regardless of the event being celebrated. They talk of families gathering, warm homes filled with love and peace, but for many, those wishes do not translate into reality.

Our memories of wonderful holidays from our childhood and our expectations for this year may put an enormous amount of pressure on us. There are traditions to be followed and expectations to be met, those of others and those we put on ourselves, along with the commercialism that has the stores full of holiday decorations and "gifts" even before the Halloween candy has been put away. Some people will struggle through much of next year to pay off the credit card debt that they accumulate over the holidays. But saddest of all, is when the holiday is over and we think to ourselves "Is that all there is?" "Where was the joy, the peace, the love?" "Why does it seem as though it never measures up to our expectations?"

The answer is "our expectations." One of the ways to reduce holiday stress is to take some time to examine your expectations for the upcoming months. What traditions have to be followed? What have you always done, because it is always done? Make a list, ask those who celebrate with you to make a list as well. Carve out some time to sit down and share your lists and discuss which of these traditions are really important to all of you and which are more work than you want to do. Get everyone involved in doing the things that may have been up to you. Discuss ways in which you can create new traditions or recreate old ones that will bring more peace, joy and love to your family, not only during the holidays. I recently read an interesting book by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages: How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate.

Although it's primarily for couples, I think that the premise applies to everyone that we love. The author says that there are 5 basic ways in which we experience feeling loved. We tend to show others we love them in the same way we feel loved. The problems arise when our "love language" is different. The five languages, in random order, are "acts of service" "physical touch" "words of affirmation" "receiving gifts" and "quality time". If, for the holidays, you show your love for someone by "giving them a gift" and their love language is "acts of service" which means that they feel loved when you do something for them, there is a good chance that neither of you will feel that your expectations have been met.

Perhaps, when your family gets together to discuss traditions and expectations for the holidays, you could discuss what would help you feel closer as a family, more loved, more joyful, and how this could create more peace. This can be a season for joy, peace, happiness, and most of all for love.

By Lorna Minewiser, Ph.D

For Thanksgiving - Be Thankful He's Not the Cheating Kind

Infidelity is at an all time high. According to the latest statistics, 3 out of 4 husbands cheat on their wives. So if you have a faithful husband, you have much to be thankful for. Faithful husbands are in short supply. While most wives assume their husbands are faithful, only 1 wife in 4 can truthfully make that claim. An estimated 38 to 53 million women are victims of infidelity. Studies further indicate that 2/3 of the wives whose husbands are cheating on them (approximately 26 million women) have no idea their husbands are having an affair -- despite the presence of numerous telltale signs. In one study, over 65% of the cheating husbands admitted to having had more than one extramarital affair. With statistics like these, you can see why being married to a husband who isn't cheating on you is something to be thankful for.

A Rude Awakening

Infidelity now affects 80% of all marriages today. Each year countless women who never dreamed their husbands were cheating, are shocked when their husbands ask for a divorce or simply move in with another woman. Other wives are dumbfounded to find that family funds have been used to finance a cheating husband's extramarital affair. Still other wives experience a rude awakening when they learn they've contracted a sexually transmitted disease.

Why the Wife is the Last to Know

Why is it that wives always seem to be the last to know? Could 26 million wives be in denial, as many people would have you believe? If a wife has no reason to suspect her husband of cheating, it's easy for her to miss or misinterpret the telltale signs of infidelity - even when the signs are staring her in the face. This is especially true if she's unfamiliar with what the signs of infidelity are.

4 Reasons to be Thankful

Not every married man is a cheating husband, despite statistics that indicate so many of them are. There are many faithful husbands who remain true to their marriage vows. If you're fortunate enough to be married to one, this Thanksgiving you have at least four reasons to be thankful:

? You can be thankful that your marriage and family are intact.

? You can be thankful the time and energy you've invested in your marriage have not been in vain.

? You can be thankful that you don't have to deal with the emotional trauma that infidelity brings.

? You can be thankful you don't have to agonize over the decision of whether to leave your husband, put him out or remain with him and struggle to get your marriage back on track.

If You're Not Sure Your Husband is Faithful

What if you aren't absolutely sure your husband is one of the few faithful ones? Be thankful you happened upon this article. Make it your business to find out where you stand before it's too late. Given the rising rate of infidelity, you owe it to yourself and your marriage to make sure you're not one of those 26 million unsuspecting wives. Familiarize yourself with the 21 categories of telltale signs. To receive a Special Report with detailed explanations of each of the 21 categories of telltale signs, send an e-mail to InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with "21 Categories" in the subject line. You'll be thankful you did.

By Ruth Houston

Create a Holiday Feast For The Senses

This is my daughter's first Christmas. Naomi will be nearly nine months old and eager to explore all that the holidays have to offer. Within a few weeks after conception, babies develop the sense of touch, with taste, smell, hearing and sight following in that order. At birth, babies possess all the senses they will have through their lives, just waiting for sensory experiences to learn about the world. The senses quickly become more acute, until adulthood when they are taken for granted. Each sense has its own role in helping create a magical memory, whether you are celebrating Solstice, Diwali, St. Lucia Day, Hanukkah, Christmas, First Night, or Festivus. This year, experience the holidays as a child again. Even if this isn't your first Christmas, you can make it joyful and loving by using all your senses.

· SEEING IS BELIEVING

Sight is the least developed sense at birth, but one we use daily without much appreciation. A thousand years ago, St. Francis of Assisi tried to explain the first Christmas to folks who didn't speak his language. The natural solution to overcome this barrier was to tell the story with images. Church crèches had become overly bejeweled and expensive, but Francis wanted to tell the poor about the humble beginnings of the Christ Child. And so the first live nativity was created, complete with donkey and stable, to get the point across that God's love is not reserved for the wealthy. You can use your sense of sight for a joyful holiday by attending a live performance at a local theater or driving around to find the best neighborhood light displays. Bundle up and walk outside on a wintry night to find the Star of Bethlehem shining. Decorate with bright colors and shiny ornaments. Sense the anticipation of the season with candles being lit one by one. Read children's classic stories such as The Polar Express, The Gift of the Magi, or How the Grinch Stole Christmas. And, don't get SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)- invest in some good full spectrum light bulbs to combat the winter blahs.

· HEAR THE WONDER

Sleigh bells ringing, snow crunching, reindeer munching; of all the cheerful holiday sounds, these are not the ones I remember most. It is the music of Christmas that I carry with me all year. Make your ears an active participant in the holidays this year by attending a local concert or sing-you-own Messiah. Play holiday CDs at home (or work if you dare) and sing along as loud as you can. For an instant make-your-spirits-bright, eat your lunch at a neighborhood playground and listen to children's laughter.

· SMELL THE MAGIC

When smelling an odor, you do not think, you react. The sense of smell is linked to the part of our brain that controls our emotions, breathing and heartrate and holds the longest lasting memories. It is estimated that smell is 10,000 times more sensitive than other senses. Do you remember the comforting aroma of sugar cookies baking or coffee brewing in your mom's kitchen? This Christmas, breathe in the fresh scent of evergreen wreaths, the spicy fragrance of gingerbread or the bouquet of juicy tangerines (a favorite stocking stuffer). To scent your home, make your own holiday potpourri on the stove by simply gently simmering orange slices and cinnamon sticks in a saucepot of water.

· TASTE THE JOY

Turn on the oven?turn up the joyaliciousness. Take comfort in holiday traditions by keeping a tried and true family recipe, or blaze new trails and create one of your own. Do you want to honor a cultural heritage or celebrate a different holiday this year? Try a new recipe and whip up some blinis, stuffed grape leaves, tamales, latkes, babaganoush, pad thai, or some Joululimppa. Indulge in a creamy chocolate truffle, some crunchy peppermint candy canes, or my favorite, salty Chex Party Mix. Use all your taste buds - salty, sour, sweet, bitter. Low carb? Who cares! Stop obsessing and celebrate.

· FEEL THE LOVE

Touch is the first sensation to develop in the womb and the last we lose. This Christmas, reach out and touch someone with a hug. Hugs are one size fits all, they're returnable, everybody needs one, and they're free. Don't be stingy with hugs, give them and receive them and give them again. Hugs are the only gift you can "re-gift" without regret. After all, this is the season of love, and what better way to show it than with hugs and some kisses thrown in for good measure. We are God's arms and legs, so use them. Volunteer at a nursing home or hospital and hold the hand of someone in need. On December 26th, when Christmas is over, and all the senses explored, I want my daughter to know the real meaning. I want her to remember the hugs and know that the joy comes from the love.


By Lorraine Aho

Visions of Sugar Plums and Holiday Safety!

Ho, Ho, Ho, Holiday greetings to you!

Every year at this time I can't help but notice the beautiful holiday lighting and adornment. It's great to see that even homes with a "For Sale" sign on the front lawn have been bedazzled with lights! But this good deed seldom goes without also decking the halls with many holiday hazards.

You may be feeling happy for the holidays, but you'll be roasting more than chestnuts if you lose respect for the dangers inherent in the season! It is sad to say, but more homes burn during December than any other month. And electricity is not the only hazard contributing to the risk.

Candles! Gosh they look so good and the scent can set the perfect holiday mood. But always remember this about candles - they are on fire! Seasonal candles on windowsills near your beautiful curtains and shears is a perfect blend for combustion. Please be sure candles are always attended when lighted, shielded by a glass enclosure, and located so the cat doesn't knock them over. And put out all candles before snuggling in for the night!

And what about space heaters! These little gems can put just the right amount of heat right where you need it. But, they can also burn the house down. Space heaters need to be in a clear space! That might even be why they call them "space" heaters, cause if they are too close to bedding, curtains, or clothing there is a fair chance of fire. Many a home has burned even with the heater in clear space. Please be careful about flinging a towel, shirt, or sheet as you climb under the covers. Any article landing on the heater is certain to burn.

While we are thinking about space heaters, be especially cautious about the misuse of kerosene-fired space heaters. These babies can really put out the heat! But please, read the directions and follow them like your life depended on it. Of special concern is ventilation. If your space heater's directions require outside air for ventilation, crack a window or what ever it takes to be compliant. The risk of death from carbon monoxide poisoning is far greater than fire. Carbon monoxide is colorless and odorless ensuring a sound sleep for all eternity.

Gotta love stockings hung by the fire - but gotta also be sure they are removed before the fire is a blazing! Maybe back in the day when wool stockings hung by the fire, it was not so risky, but these days those fuzzy fake flannel stockings burn better than fat lighter. So choose your effect - either stockings hung by the fireplace, or a fire in the fireplace, but certainly not both at the same time!

For some strange reason, otherwise sane and contentious homeowners decide to do their most creative electrical lighting, decorating, and wiring this time of year. Some of the more festive observations have been:

- Twelve indoor extension cords lying in a garden fountain
- Eleven lighted candles each behind a curtain
- Ten cracked cords in a single outlet
- Nine rocking reindeer sparking on a rooftop
- Eight unattended potpourri pots a bubbling and a boiling
- Seven realtors cell phones charging near a wet counter
- Six spliced wires wrapped with duct tape
- Five frosty snowmen hanging by frayed wires
- Four flood lights on a single broken fixture
- Three space heaters blowing on a Christmas tree
- Two light bulbs covered with red plastic bags
- One extension cord draped over a chimney while the fire's a blazing

Okay, I confess! I took some liberties in putting this list together. But keep in mind that electrical hazards know no season! Our friends at the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSO) estimate that about 4,000 injuries associated with electric extension cords are treated in hospital emergency rooms each year. They also estimate that each year, about 3,300 residential fires originate in extension cords, killing 50 people and injuring about 270 others. The most frequent causes of such fires are short circuits, overloading, damage, and/or misuse of extension cords.

The real point is, be it in our own homes, homes we visit, or homes we list, keep an eye out for the hazards that need to be addressed. Lives depend on it. Plus, if one of your property listings burn to the ground, it makes for some very difficult disclosures!

Be safe and enjoy the holidays!

By Wally Conway

Holiday Tips For Stepfamilies

Holiday Tips For Stepfamilies: Let Go Of The "Brady Bunch" Fantasy!

When my co-author--Bill Merkel Ph.D.--and I first formed our stepfamily, I had many fantasies about how our family would behave like the "Brady Bunch" over the holidays-- a happy, harmonious, singing-and-dancing unit. Then reality struck, and we couldn't even agree on how to decorate the Christmas tree!

Ultimately, we created a "his" side-with multi-colored, blinking lights and tinsel--and a "hers" side-with hand-painted eggs and popcorn strings. Seven years later, I can tell you that trying to create a "Brady Bunch" holiday sets stepfamilies up for failure. Instead, I suggest you follow these tips:

1. Examine and try to let go of your "Brady Bunch" fantasies.

2. Continue "old" holiday traditions with your biological kids while creating new ones for the stepfamily.

3. If the kids don't buy into your fantasy holiday, try to see

the world from their point of view.

4. Practice the fine art of silence when your stepfamily is stressed by the holidays. You don't have to share all your negative feelings.

5. Don't compete with your children's "other" parents by showering kids with expensive gifts.

6. Stepmoms, reach out to your stepkids' mother. Buy her a gift. Tell her you appreciate her children.

7. Don't fight with ex-spouses about how much time you will

spend with children over the holidays. It only hurts the children

8. Invite your ex-spouses over for a holiday party. Brace for surprises.

9. Join a stepparent support group to share the many feelings about "family" that come up during the holiday season.

By Lisa Cohn

Decorate for Christmas

It's your home/your apartment and you want to make it a special sanctuary this Christmas. How can you create a special place for your family and you? Well, we already have our centerpiece?see November's issue Decorate for Thanksgiving.) Just replace candles and flowers. But how can you make your place shine with love and holiday spirit?

Your dining room table can have a nice Christmas cloth or runner. Replace the fall curtain scarf with Christmas co-ordinates to match your table cloth or runner. Look around your yard for any berries that you might use in your centerpieces. Be careful that little ones don't put these in their mouths. Make a wreath for your door using a grapevine base and ivy you might have growing around the yard?.place berries strategically around the circle. Make a bow of fine vines and place in the center, a couple of pine cones. What a unique heart warmer for your guests to enter your sanctuary by.

At the doorway, hallway, foyer, greet your guests with cinnamon sticks and and cloves stuck in oranges and apples placed in a wooden bowl on a hallway table. Cover the table with a plaid green and red cloth. Your kitchen can have all the smells of holiday cooking. Place a nice lantern in the window to remind us of those guests who couldn't make it. Have a plate of finger foods for your guests. Simple things will do like a nice wooden bowl of cashews or give your guests something to do: serve pistachios.

Need something for the kids to do? Take tag paper and cut out a Christmas tree shape that is about 24 inches tall. Put it on a bulletin board, then make two different sized ornament patterns for the kids to use and have them trace ornaments on more tag paper. Let the kids cut the ornaments out. Take crayons and markers and decorate a couple to model how to decorate them for the kids. Provide some glue sticks and let the kids glue their ornaments on their very own tree.

In your living room or family room, create a warm feel with plaid coverlets thrown across your couches and chairs. If you have a mantel, string some berries into a garland?.or use cranberries. Place wooden candlestick holders and white candles. Place ivy around the base?.a very simple but elegant presentation.

After dinner have pie with coffee and tea. Pass out some carols and sing together. If you have a musical instrument, this would be a great time to accompany your guests. You can print some carols ahead of time. Make them into little booklets using old Christmas cards for covers. CHRISTMAS-CAROLS.NET - Rejoice in the Christmas Spirit!

Serve some spiced cider:
1 gallon of Apple Cider
10 cinnamon sticks
Some whole cloves (about 10)
Simmer on top of stove for about 15 minutes and strain into some nice Seasonal mugs.

Enjoy your family and don't forget to take photos. Merry Christmas!

By Caroline Shaw

A Resolution Worth Keeping

New Years Resolutions: Making them is a tradition -keeping of them is usually optional. That's unfortunate, because some of the pledges we make in those moments before the calendar changes are wonderful things to aspire to - spending more time with our children, exercising regularly, stopping a bad habit like smoking - or considering chocolate one of the main food groups. Yet, this is the one time of the year that it's condoned - almost expected - that we don't follow through on our promises.

But what if we did follow through? What if we could make a resolution that changed our lives for the better? What if we made a tiny adjustment in our perspective and it allowed us to be happier, feel freer, and enjoy a more mindful existence?

Well, get ready to make a commitment - it's as easy as embracing the idea of simplicity. Yes, simplicity.

The start of the New Year is the perfect time to make some changes. Resolve to get back to basics. I'm not advocating a cabin in the woods with no heat or electricity, just a small step to the left of the consumer frenzy. Where do you start? Right at home in your own headspace - by making a conscious decision that your time and daily experiences are more important than money and stuff.

Reduce your clutter: Unless you use it regularly, or it holds a high degree of sentimental value, it should go. Choose a charity and schedule a pick up. Just think of how much easier your house will be to clean, and how much easier it will be to find things once you've thinned out your belongings.

Decrease distractions: Cell phones, voice mail, two-way walkie-talkies, online instant messenger, and palm pilots are all tools created for convenience. Left unchecked, however, they can start running your life. Be sure your not becoming a slave to advanced technology. Oh, and turn off that darn TV too.

Learn to say "no": This tiny two-letter word is your best defense against becoming overextended. Start using it - no one will think any less of you if you do.

Learn to say "yes" when others offer help: Stop with the Superwoman fallacy. There is no harm in accepting help when offered, or even in asking for it when needed. In fact, most people are happy to be of assistance.

Cut down on compulsive buying: Shopping has become a sport in this country and credit card debt is hitting an all time high. Before you break out your plastic to get that new Prada handbag ask yourself - do I really need this? Will this improve my life? Is this "thing" worth the time I will have to put in working in order to pay for it? If the answer is no then don't buy it.

Relinquish some control: You can't speed up the driver in front of you, make the check out line at the supermarket move more efficiently, or govern the happiness of others. Just let it go. Take some deep breathes in traffic, practice your Kegel Exercise while waiting at the grocery store, and lead your life with integrity. Don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders - it's too heavy.

Reduce decisions: While having a choice is a good thing, too many options can be overwhelming. Whether you are contemplation a major purchase, or deciding what to cook for dinner, limit your self to two options. Choose one, then be happy with your decision - second guessing never helped anyone.

Enjoy the little things in life: Read a book, take a walk, have a bubble-bath, start a snowball fight with your kids, eat together as a family at the kitchen table, garden, snuggle, pursue a hobby, listen to music, write a letter, meditate, and follow your passions. Partake in everyday pleasures - all the things that don't entail shopping, spending, or crowds - and spend quality time with the ones you love.

Living simply is not about depravation; it's about living well. Our lives are complicated, in part, because we make them that way. Resolve to make 2005 the year of simplicity, and greet the coming months with a relaxed and peaceful spirit.

By Deborah Martin

Online Shopping: Tips For Holidays Gift Shopping

It is holidays time, and you've the money and you want to go out and begin online shopping.

But before you do, here are some tips to manage your online shopping and expenses.

(1) Before going out get organized.

Make a list of all the people that you plan to buy a gift for, and what kind of gift you want to get for each.

(2) Set Limits on how to spend

For each name on your list, decide on how much to spend and the add all up to know the total amount you wish to spend, and stick to it.

(3) Shop early.

Don't wait until the last minute to start shopping. Many discount and holidays special are available early in the shopping seasons. Ship your gifts on time to avoid paying more at the last minute to get them on time to their destinations.

(4) Use credit card to pay for most of the gifts and the rest pay with cash.

(5) Make the gifts yourself and save money and still make an impact. Instead of spending money to buy a gift, why not spend time and make it yourself? Most people value personal gifts more. For example bake some cookies and use a decorative tin to package it.

(6) Give your time as a gift.

You may also give your time and ideas as gifts. You can get your friends together and volunteer to work at any nearby charitable organization, soup kitchen or free toy distribution program.

(7) You may save time and money by doing your shopping online.

Warmly,

By I-key Benney

Nicely Designed Pillows As Gifts

Many of us are probably squeezing out our brains to the limit just for a single purpose, to think of what to give especially when it's Christmas or just a simple birthday present. It's always nice to give the jewelries, toys, clothes and shoes as we all had been used to of what to give. But haven't you realized that there is something much cheaper and more fantastic than clothes or jewelries? Yes, and those are pillows.

Pillows can oftentimes express our sweetness and our tender loving care to someone we give them to. The feeling of sweetness just pops-up when we receive pillow gifts. There are a lot of pillow designs but the ones that best fit as a gift are the ones that are nicely designed and cute. A design with Disney characters would be nice just like a design with Finding Nemo characters and a design with our all time favorite superheroes like batman, superman, incredibles!

They are not just for kids they are for adults too. Sweethearts, for example has a lot of moments to share by just seeing the gifted pillow. The expression of "This was the pillow you gave me on my birthday, I liked it so much so sweet" just goes out in the mouth.

So when choosing the gifts for seasons like Christmas try to include pillows in your list.

Try this site for example http://dakki.isnare.com you will surely see the pillow your child, sweetheart, and love ones wanted.

By Glenn Prialde

Surviving Those Holiday Blues

Not everyone shares in the celebration and joy associated with the holidays. Many people feel stressed and unhappy in response to the demands of shopping for gifts, spending large amounts of money, attending parties and family gatherings, and entertaining houseguests. It is not uncommon to react to these stresses with excessive drinking and eating, difficulty sleeping, and physical complaints. The holiday blues are a common result. If you experience reactions like these during the holidays, you are not alone. Let's take a look at what causes the holiday blues and what you can do about them.

What Causes the Holiday Blues?

Fear of disappointing others. Some people fear disappointing their loved ones during the holidays. Even though they can't afford to spend a lot of money on gifts, some people feel so obligated to come through with a fancy gift that they spend more than they can afford.

Expecting gifts to improve relationships. Giving someone a nice present won't necessarily strengthen a friendship or romantic relationship. When your gifts don't produce the reactions you had hoped for, you may feel let down.

Anniversary reactions. If someone important to you passed away or left you during a past holiday season, you may become depressed as the anniversary approaches.

Bad memories. For some families, the holidays are times of chaos and confusion. This is especially true in families where people have substance abuse problems or dysfunctional ways of relating to each other. If this was true in your family in past years, you may always carry memories of the disappointment and upheaval that came with the holidays. Even though things may be better now, it is difficult to forget the times when your holidays were ruined by substance abuse and family dysfunction.

It could be SAD. People who live in northern states may experience depression during the winter because of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD results from fewer hours of sunlight as the days grow shorter during the winter months.

Strategies for Dealing with the Holiday Blues

While the holiday blues are usually temporary, these ideas can help make this year's holiday experience more pleasant and less stressful:

Be realistic. Don't expect the holiday season to solve all past problems. The forced cheerfulness of the holiday season cannot ward off sadness or loneliness.

Drink less alcohol. Even though drinking alcohol gives you a temporary feeling of well-being, it is a depressant and never makes anything better.

Give yourself permission not to feel cheerful. Accept how you are feeling. If you have recently experienced a loss, you can't expect yourself to put on a happy face. Tell others how you are feeling and what you need.

Have a spending limit and stick to it. Look for holiday activities that are free, such as driving around to look at holiday decorations. Go window-shopping without purchasing anything. Look for ways to show people you care without spending a lot.

Be honest. Express your feelings to those around you in a constructive, honest, and open way. If you need to confront someone with a problem, begin your sentences with "I feel."

Look for sources of support. Learn about offerings at mental health centers, churches, and synagogues. Many of these have special support groups, workshops, and other activities designed to help people deal with the holiday blues.

Give yourself special care. Schedule times to relax and pamper yourself. Take a warm bath or spend an evening with a good book.

Set limits and priorities. Be realistic about what you will be able to accomplish. Prepare a To-Do list to help you arrange your priorities.

Volunteer your time. If you are troubled because you won't be seeing your family, volunteer to work at a hospital or food bank. Volunteering can help raise your spirits by turning your focus to people who are less fortunate than you are.

Get some exercise. Exercise has a positive impact on depression because it boosts serotonin levels. Try to get some type of exercise at least twice each week.

After the Holidays

For some people, holiday blues continue into the new year. This is often caused by leftover feelings of disappointment during the holiday season and being physically exhausted. The blues also happen for some people because the start of a new year is a time of reflection, which can produce anxiety.

Is It More than Just the Holiday Blues?

Clinical depression is more than just feeling sad for a few weeks. The symptoms generally include changes in appetite and sleep patterns, having less interest in daily activities, difficulty concentrating, and a general feeling of hopelessness.

Clinical depression requires professional treatment. If you are concerned that a friend or relative may be suffering from more than just holiday blues, you should express your concerns. If the person expresses thoughts of worthlessness or suicide, it is important to seek the help of a qualified mental health professional.

By Garrett Coan

Top 20 New Years Quotations

"Here's to the bright New Year, and a fond farewell to the old; here's to the things that are yet to come, and to the memories that we hold."
-- Anonymous

"People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas."
-- Anonymous

"A new year is unfolding - like a blossom with petals curled tightly concealing the beauty within."
-- Anonymous

"Let us not drink to the past, but to the future."
-- Anonymous

"The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows."
-- George William Curtis

"The New Year, like an Infant Heir to the whole world, was waited for, with welcomes, presents, and rejoicings."
-- Charles Dickens

"For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning."
-- T.S. Eliot

"Be at war with your vices; at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man."
-- Benjamin Franklin

"New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights."
-- Hamilton Wright Mabie

"The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to."
-- P. J. ORourke

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day."
-- Edith Lovejoy Pierce

"The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!"
-- Edward Payson Powell

"Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true."
-- Lord Tennyson

"It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets."
-- William Thomas

"Your Merry Christmas may depend on what others do for you ... but your Happy New Year depends on what you do for others."
-- Unknown

"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other."
-- Unknown

"Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits."
-- Unknown

"Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to."
-- Bill Vaughan

"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves."
-- Bill Vaughan

"It Depends on Us... Another year lies before us like an unwritten page, an unspent coin, an unwalked road. the pages will read, what treasures will be gained in exchange for time, or what we find alone the way, will largely depend on us."
-- Esther Baldwin York

Traditional VS. Modern Anniversary Gifts

Most people are familiar with the traditional materials list that good etiquette requires us use as a guide when selecting a gift to commemorate a wedding anniversary. If you are like most people, you might find it a bit challenging to convert the materials on the list into an acceptable gift idea. There may be more choices available to you than you realize. Do you know that an updated "modern" gift list is available which is becoming more and more popular? This article touches on the history of the traditional list, highlights the differences between the modern and traditional lists, and helps you decide which is right for you.

Parts of the traditional list have existed since medieval times. Historians can trace the origins of silver and golden anniversaries to medieval Germany, where garlands made of these metals were presented as gifts for the 25th and 50th years of marriage. The rest of the list may not be as traditional as you think. I was surprised to learn that the traditional list, as we know it today, did not exist until 1937. In that year, the American National Retail Jeweler Association published a list, which associated a material for each Anniversary up to the 15th year and then each fifth year after that up to the 60th Anniversary. The following is the materials list from 1937, through the 60th year:

* First - Paper
* Second - Cotton
* Third - Leather
* Fourth - Fruit/Flowers
* Fifth - Wood
* Sixth - Candy/Iron
* Seventh - Wool/Copper
* Eighth - Bronze/Pottery
* Ninth - Pottery/Willow
* Tenth - Tin/Aluminum
* Eleventh - Steel
* Twelfth - Silk/Linen
* Thirteenth - Lace
* Fourteenth - Ivory
* Fifteenth - Crystal
* Twentieth - China
* Twenty-Fifth - Silver
* Thirtieth - Pearl
* Thirty-Fifth - Coral
* Fortieth - Ruby
* Forty-Fifth - Sapphire
* Fiftieth - Gold
* Fifty-fifth - Emerald
* Sixtieth - Diamond

The modern anniversary materials list presents us with a contemporary, easier to use alternative. The modern list has no clear beginning, but like the original, each year's gift is more precious than the last. This arrangement is intended to honor the longevity of the commitment. The new list retains the spirit of the traditional list, but loses the some of the sense of etiquette in the original. Although more convenient, the modern list sacrifices the thoughtfulness previously required to make a good gift from the more mundane materials on the old list. However, the modern list is more extravagant (expensive) than the original, which in some cases may be more appreciated than a thoughtful but humble gift from the traditional list. The following is the widely accepted modern list, through the 60th year:

* First - Clocks
* Second - China
* Third - Crystal/ Glass
* Fourth - Appliances
* Fifth - Silverware
* Sixth - Candy/Iron
* Seventh - Desk Sets
* Eighth - Bronze/Pottery
* Ninth - Linen/Lace
* Tenth - Leather
* Eleventh - Jewelry
* Twelfth - Pearls
* Thirteenth - Textiles/Furs
* Fourteenth - Gold Jewelry
* Fifteenth - Watches
* Twentieth - Platinum
* Twenty-Fifth - Silver
* Thirtieth - Diamond
* Thirty-Fifth - Jade
* Fortieth - Ruby
* Forty-Fifth - Sapphire
* Fiftieth - Gold
* Fifty-fifth - Emerald
* Sixtieth - Diamond Jubilee

For most couples, I recommend using the modern list. When selecting a gift from the modern list you have the benefit of more specificity, for example a desk set is much more clear than copper/wool. With the modern list, you won't risk insulting your spouse by rewarding 10 years of companionship with a pitiful tin or aluminum gift. Believe me, she won't be satisfied with the excuse of tradition. Also, good luck finding the ivory candlesticks for year 14! Unless you really enjoy the creative challenge of using the traditional list, try the modern list this year.

By Slade Hartwell

Thriving Through the Holidays

The holidays are upon us; a time of celebration and joy. I love the last days of November through the beginning of the New Year. The pure magic of the holidays is something that I anticipate and enjoy each and every year.

For some though, the holidays have lost the joy and excitement they at other times have had. The pace of life has grown so fast - much faster than those first holidays I remember in my life - that some people don't enjoy the times they get to spend with their family and friends during what is supposed to be days filled with joy and peace.

Why is that? Probably a lot can be laid at the feet of how fast paced our times are, but that isn't all.

I believe our holiday times should be wonderful and filled with lasting and enjoyable moments and memories. So how can we ensure that we come out of the holidays in January with great memories of the past month? Here are six thoughts that will help you experience the holidays the way they were intended to be experienced:

1. Be Temperate.
Holidays can be days of excess for many -- too much food, too many cookies and treats. Too much chocolate, schedules that are too busy. One thing that will help you enjoy the holidays is to be temperate. Enjoy the food. Enjoy the treats. Enjoy the busy schedule of activities and parties. But also be disciplined enough to know when to hold back, when to say, "no". When we go overboard we regret it and loose the opportunity to fully experience that moment. But when we enjoy a little and refrain from going too far, then we can enjoy all that little piece of time has to offer.

2. Lower Your Expectations.
Much of the frustration people experience from the holidays is from setting their expectations too high. They expect too much from friends or family, and when they don't get what they want, they get frustrated. They expect presents to be perfect and when they aren't, they get frustrated or disappointed. Instead of having huge expectations this holiday season, just take it as it comes and enjoy what you can. And this brings me to my next point.

3. Enjoy What You Can and Ignore the Rest.
This holiday season, go with an attitude of knowing that things will be what they will be. You can't control other people or their actions. If a family member pushes the limits of your patience, ignore that and instead focus on how much you can enjoy the time you have with other family members. If things don't go perfectly - which they won't - then enjoy what you can and let the rest slide. You will feel a lot better about life if you can take all things a little easier.

4. Stay Out of Debt.
Debt is a killer. It will steal your enjoyment of life. Be sure to stay within your financial boundaries this holiday season. The last thing you want is to start the New Year with a deeper burden financially. Know where you are financially and stay within those limits. You don't have to impress anyone, just buy gifts that you can afford and express your heartfelt feeling in the giving of the gift.

5. Take Time for Yourself.
Be sure that no matter how busy you get, that you take time for yourself. Take time to read. Take a long bath if that relaxes you. Take a walk. Spend some time of quiet in front of a fire. Don't rush through the holidays and sap all of your energy. Your mind and body need to be reenergized, so be sure to take time to do so.

6. Focus on Your Spiritual Life.
Ultimately, no matter what tradition you come from, the holidays are historically days in which we focus on the spiritual. Men and women are created with a natural draw toward spiritual life. However, our culture today tends to stay away from a focus on the spiritual, and that has even crept into our holidays. Be sure to place an emphasis on building your spiritual life and growing in that area. This will help keep you grounded and able to deal with anything that may come your way.

Friends, we are coming to the end of another year. I have enjoyed this year immensely! This time of year is another chance to remember the important truths of life and to enjoy time with dear friends and family.

May you experience the very best this holiday season and move into January better than ever!

To your success, joy, and peace,
By Jim Rohn